Victoria's Journey to Sobriety
“My name is Victoria Nichols and I am 31 years old. Operation Rise Again helped me get into Potter House Recovery in January of 2023. Since then, my life has truly turned around and is unfolding more beautifully than I ever thought possible. I wanted to take the time to reach out and express my gratitude and allowing me the chance to turn my life around for the better. I also wanted to take the time to share some of my journey to show just how much ORA’s generosity has miraculously impacted my life and I can only imagine how many others.
Also, maybe it can help share some experience, strength, and hope with another hopeless addict like me.
Before knowing anything about recovery and the trembling idea of sobriety, I was a heroin and crack addict.
That was my ending drug of choice anyway. I was an alcoholic/addict before I ever picked up. My mind was wired very differently. I was consumed with fear, anger, anxiety, and depression and couldn't possibly hate anything or anyone more than myself. I felt I was the exception, the oddball to life. That it had noticed me just enough to not want me. Then life and its events continued to do as it did, and I continued not knowing how to handle it. The inward turmoil that I felt grew and grew and so did I, right into picking up and it was such a relief!
I remember thinking to myself that as long as I have this, I will never have to feel that way again and I can FINALLY be happy. That seemed to work for a very brief period until it didn't. I started losing everything in sight - stealing, selling my body, hurting the ones I loved and completely going against everything I had ever believed in. The incomprehensible demoralization had set in full swing, and I was off to the races. Even that wasn't enough for me. I thought there was another way I could still manage this. I tried switching methods, drugs, and amounts still leaving me worse off than before. Until finally I reached my bottom.
I was dope sick and hallucinating in a dark scary motel room completely alone. Dead bodies from other rooms were being wheeled out as casually as someone walking their dog. That is when the moment of clarity hit me. I can't do this anymore.
I was contemplating two things - finally being brave enough to end my life or reach out.
As I am here writing all of this, I can so thankfully say I reached out for help. The gift of desperation that I had acquired was my biggest asset. Even though I did not know it at the time, and was pretty much paralyzed with fear, I went through with it anyway. Which led me right into the doors of Potter House. I wish I could tell you it was easy and that it happened overnight, but it didn't. What I can say is that it was the best thing I could have ever done.
The fire I had inside me to be a fighter and see something through for the first time in my life paid off. I've been a runner for as long as I can remember, but not this time. This place and the 12 steps have not just saved my life but have brought a whole new meaning to it. This is the first thing I have seen through in my entire existence. I felt I was always searching for or missing something, I now know this was it.
I am now at peace, with no fear, no anger, NO ANXIETY OR DEPRESSION. Life still does what it does and obstacles come up, but I have been given the tools to deal with it in a healthy way. I have met amazing people who genuinely care for me. I can say I am now a woman of integrity, honesty, and morals.
My family has returned. I have a connection with a Higher Power which I like to call God and have learned is nothing at all like what I thought it was before. I was able to forgive myself and come to love myself. I finally found something that I am good at and gives me purpose. The best part is I get to share that with others and help them by simply being myself. This is better than any high I have ever experienced and fills the void I've been so desperately seeking to close.
I am coming up on 9 months sober and am living proof that this works and there is another way. Thank
you so much again!"